Whouffle Body Swap Fanfic
by Exterminatedaffodils123
Summary: Clara and the Doctor use a bodyswap machine to help understand each other better.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Swap

So, this is my first fanfiction online. I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO OR IT'S CHARACTERS THEY BELOG TO THE BBC. And that was my first disclaimer. Feels good. Please review and more chapter en route ;)

The room that the Doctor and Clara were standing in was small, sterile and white, gleaming with light. There were two beds in the opposite corners, each one wired up to a central machine, complete with flashing lights, dials and buttons.

"Welcome," the Doctor said grimly, "to Earth, 3150 AD,".

"But what is it?" asked Clara, staring at the contraption.

"A body swap device. The last of its kind" the Doctor replied. "You see, it was used as a form of

relationship therapy. Better way to understand one another, et cetera. But, they were all decommissioned, except for this one. Even now, it's only used for the rich and famous".

"Since you were complaining about not being able to reach the top shelf, my bow tie - which, by the way, is cool - and the TARDIS hating you, I thought it would be a good way to resolve our 'issues'. Agree?" the Doctor asked.

"Yeah, but, why the last of its kind? Why not an earlier model?" Clara asked.

"Well, it got individually updated, so this is the best of it's kind," the Doctor replied, clearly pleased with himself, gleaming at the short brunette next to him. Clara admitted defeat, not staring into his brown eyes.

"Fine, but how long is it for?" The Doctor checked his watch and pondered the answer

.

"About 48 hours, give or take a few" he replied uncertainly. "All you have to do is lie down in the bed and it'll work automatically. I've set it to 48 hours at least, so it should be ok. Ready to go?" The Doctor finished, looking at Clara.

"Fine, just don't screw it up. Do you think i want to be stringy and...you forever?" she finished sassily.

As the duo entered the beds, Clara felt a small buzzing in the back of her skull, growing louder and more intense until it overtook her mind. Her vision faded to black slowly and the buzz got louder and louder...

Clara woke first. She pulled herself up out of the bed and examined the room. Across from her was a petite, brunette woman - was that really how small she was? Looking down, she could see the purple jacket and vest, complete with bow tie. She put her hands to her neck to loosen it, but stopped when she felt her Adam's Apple in her throat. Her shock was delayed when the machine began to whir back into life and sparks of electricity flew off of it in a frantic haze.

"Doctor!" she cried in despair.

When the Doctor awoke, he could immediately hear the sound of electricity crackling. He sprung to his and was instantly jarred by the sheer contrast in height. He dashed over to the machine and fiddled with the dials. Suddenly, all life vanished from it and the lights died down. The monitor was the only form of life present. As the Doctor peeled a look at it, he let out a small gasp and collapsed on the spot. Clara rushed to the screen. Luckily, she had a bit more back bone and could withstand the information. The screen read 'Conversion Complete. Cycle fixed at 48...'. The final word caused Clara to let out a gasp herself. It wasn't hours. It wasn't days or weeks, or even months. It was 48 years..


	2. Chapter 2 - Tea and Food Cubes

Chapter 2: Tea and food cubes

**The food machine is used! For the first time since 1964! Which I don't own, on top of Doctor Who and it's characters. The story is set between NiS and tNotD because I didn't even know how the time stream would have affected Clara, let alone determine how the swap how have changed that. The Maitlands appear in the next chapter, thank you so much to everyone who fav and followed this story. Have a penguin - (").Updates will be about a week apart from now, but probably less. Anywho (geddit? who?), on with the tale of woe...**

Luckily, the TARDIS was only a few feet away and Clara could easily carry the doctor back. However, the strain caused her to drop to the floor in the console room and curl up in horror.

When the Doctor awoke, he saw his own tall, lithe body lying opposite him, whimpering slightly. He stood up and pulled a lever on the console, then tapped some buttons on the keyboard. The room around them dissolved into the TARDIS kitchen, eerily similar to the chamber from earlier, pristine and high tech.

He staggered over to the kettle and flicked the switch, not bothering fulling it with water - the TARDIS took care of that.

Next, he walked over to the food machine and pushed the main button. Did that thing still work? It must have been 500 years since he used it last. Luckily, it gurgled and bubbled before a pair of white cubes the size of mars bars dropped out of the bottom.

He scooped up Clara and hauled her onto the chair, sitting down himself next. Nibbling on the edge of the food cube, he was delighted to find that it was jammie dodger flavoured.

When Clara came around, the Doctor had finished his food cube and was half way through his tea.

"Years? Not weeks, or months, or minutes, or seconds?" Clara asked in a mad panic. The doctor nodded grimly. "I'll be 72 when I'm me again," she finished with a look of sorrow.

"Clara, I'm sorry. The machine was set to years; I thought I had changed it, but apparently, I hadn't" the doctor replied sadly and apologetically. "What about Artie and Angie? Or Mr Maitland? Or my friends? Doctor, this is my life!" Clara ranted in a state of misery. When the Doctor tried to speak up to console her, his companion burst out

"48 years. That's a lifetime to me, but it's only a moment to you, a blink of an eye. How is that fair?"

"Well, I could rig up a time destructor and age us both 48 years, but we can't be rejuvenated from there. It's up to you, Clara,"the Doctor whispered, still in terror of her booming voice.

"I'd rather age normally for 48 years. But I'm going to see Artie and Angie and tell them first," she finished, brandishing her finger as she walked out of the room. Her tea was untouched and stone cold.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Maitlands

Chapter 3 - The Maitlands

**A/N - The Doctor and Clara couldn't go forward in time and change back, because it has to be 48 years in their personal time streams. They would age in each others bodies, but if they were to de-age themselves, they would switch back. Also, I LIED! MWAHAHAHA! The next update will likely be on Saturday now. Please review x x**

As the TARDIS whirred into existence at the Maitlands house, Clara peered out of the doors that were opened a crack. "Coast seems clear. All that's left is to pretend to be my own fake boyfriend. That sounded better in my head," she added, looking down at the Doctor.

The moment they stepped out of the doors, the front door swung open to reveal Angie, stood there cross-armed. "Where the hell have you been? It's been a fortnight!" She asked angrily. "We overshot a bit," whispered back the Doctor. Noticing Clara's glare at him, he hastily added "and language, young lady!". Angie's

face conformed into a look of shock at her nanny's sudden remark.

"What's Hap-" she started, but Clara interrupted her quickly. "Meet us in my-Clara's room and we'll explain,". Angie nodded slowly and confusedly as she retreated back into the house, then ran quickly up the stairs to the loft.

When Clara and the Doctor entered her room, Angie was sat on the bed, an eager Artie sat next to her. "So what happened?" Angie asked curiously. Clara sighed in defeat. It was going to be a long day.

"So you can't change back? Ever?" asked Artie excitedly, amazed at the science.

"Well, it will only happen in 50 years," Clara replies grimly. "Really, it's only forty-" the doctor replied, leaning back on the bed. "Really," Clara interrupted "shut it,".

"What are you going to tell dad?" Angie asked happily, pleased at the misfortune.

"The Docor will just say that he has a job interview in Manchester and will have to move there. The less he knows, the better. He's still in the dark about the Cybermen thing. He is, isn't he?" Clara asked, rambling in desperation

.

"No, actually I told him that me and my brother were taken over by cyborgs from the distant future and blew up a planet," Angie replies sarcastically. She was met with a glare that spoke volumes, surprisingly from both Clara and the Doctor.

"Listen, we'll still see each other now and then, yeah?" Clara said to Angie comfortingly. "You've got my phone number, so call me whenever you feel like it," she finished, holding the siblings tight. As Angie watched her nanny and her, or his, boyfriend walk down the stairs and out of her life, she begrudgingly wiped a single tear from her eye.

"So you've been offered a job in Manchester? For how long?" asked Mr Maitland.

"It's for a travel magazine that's based in Manchester. I'll actually be flitting about all the place. India, America, New Zealand. And, I don't know how long for, to be honest," the doctor replied confidently.

The words came easily to him, but he could see himself - or, Clara - in the back garden through the window, which was mildly discerning.

"Well, we're gonna miss you. The kids especially, but...best of luck to you," Mr Maitland said sadly. As he pulled in for a hug, the Doctor stood there awkwardly in shock until he saw Clara brandishing her fists at him and he quickly returned the embrace.

As the duo returned to the TARDIS, Clara sighed quietly. "At least it's over," she muttered sadly.

"Oh no, soufflé, er, man," the Doctor replied.

"It's only just beginning..."


	4. Chapter 4 - Inside the Spaceship

Chapter 4 - Inside the Spaceship

**Chaptero numero fouro is now up! Sorry for the delay, but please remember to favourite, follow and review! The fic will be called "Rn you clever girl and remember" and that's about it. So long!**

Later in the TARDIS wardrobes, the doctor and Clara were examining it's contents. "It's not fair!" Whined Clara, seeing the doctors collection of clothes. "Why do you only own some shirts, trousers, jackets and bow ties, along with a Sherlock Holmes costume?" she asked in frustration. "How do you think I feel?" the doctor retaliated. "I'm stuck wearing skirts, and dresses, and...other stuff," he complained, in equal misery as Clara.

Looking into the wardrobe with distain, the Doctor realised how impossible his situation was. The wardrobe was full with red girly dresses and skirts and it was all too much. He missed his hair and it's giant fringe. He missed his superhuman senses. He missed his long, stringy legs and height. He hated being short.

Clara, on the other hand, was fine. She loved being able to leap about the place like a rabbit on drugs. She loved being able to finally reach the much needed milk for her souffles that _someone _hadleft on the top shelf on the kitchen. She was fine.

The Doctor sat back and considered his response.

"Actually, a lot easier than managing with two-" he began, until Clara hastily interrupted him with:

"You know, I think the green jacket really suits you..."

"You know, I think I got that from Roger Moore - or was it Connery?" the Doctor replied, only half jokingly.

"Shall we share a room, then? So we can keep an eye on each other and so on? But no...stuff!" she asked tentatively.

"Deal," replied the Doctor, holding out his hand, his cheeks flushing meanwhile with a powerful crimson horror. Taking it gratefully, Clara shook it vigorously.

"Deal,".

Later that night, the Doctor and Clara were in the console room, gleefully pulling levers and flicking switches as they went. Clara was wearing a white shirt, green velvet jacket and a maroon bow tie, the Doctor donning the bright red summer dress Clara

had worn during the business with the Van Baalen Bros.

An upside of their predicament was the TARDIS was now permanently stymied as to who was who, and so daren't hurt Clara for risk of hurting her precious thief.

"Where are going?" Clara screamed in delight, clutching onto the handrail for support.

"No idea!" The Doctor whooped back, having the time of his life at the moment. The TARDIS hummed to a stop, the engines reducing to a mild buzz.

"Shall we, Clara?" asked the Doctor jokingly, holding out his elbow mockingly.

"We shall," replied Clara, linking arms with the Doctor joyfully. Together, they skipped out the TARDIS.

As they reached the doors, the Doctor stopped and looked at Clara seriously.

"We could anywhere in time and space now...the Third Great and Bountiful Human Empire, the Fall of Rome, the Alignment of Exodor. Anywhere," the

Doctor explained, his excitement growing with each syllable.

"Well let's get a move on then," said Clara, almost ready to break down the doors. The duo opened the doors and charged out.

"Human Empire. Rome. Exodor. Or, Cardiff," Clara said sarcastically, as well as equally disappointed. They were in Roald Dahl Plass, Cardiff. The Doctor turned around stated angrily at the TARDIS.

"Always take where you needed to go," he said, remembering the words spoken to him by his machine itself.

"Well, let's go sight seeing then!" Clara exclaimed happily.


	5. Chapter 5 - Cardiff

Chapter 5 - Cardiff

Sorry for the break in communications, but the next update will be either tomorrow or the day after. Torchwood will not feature as it is set after the Rift sealed in the Big Bang, but Jack will appear near the end. Anyway, I don't own Doctor Who and please remember to review, favourite and follow!

"When are we?" asked Clara, giddy with the sights around her. The Doctor licked his finger to test the year, but gave up in frustration.

"Stupid human fingers. I can't feel anything!" the Doctor stropped to Clara.

Pulling out his sonic screwdriver, the Doctor scanned the ground beneath them, then moved it, pointing it at the surrounding area. It felt humongous in Clara's minute hands.

"The rift's been sealed. Thought so," he said, a

smile creeping back onto his face. "Just to be on the safe side," he said quietly, pulling Clara away from the water tower.

The sun was shining bright in Cardiff that day, a rarity for the Welsh capital. The Doctor and Clara practically skipped around the city, taking photos of the Millennium Stadium, the Docks and Roald Dahl Plass, which the Doctor had taken using the zoom, with the help of the sonic, of course.

Clara even splashed out on a shirt labelled with "I 3 CARDIFF!" in large red letters. The Doctor begrudgingly allowed her to put it on his body in place of the jacket, watching on in agony.

At aboutone o'clock, the duo found a small cafe near the docks and ordered their lunch. Clara chose a cheese and onion toastie with a small tumbler of red wine; the Doctor selected fish and chips with a diet coke. Clara chose to break the silence at the table first.

"Is there anything you can do to reverse the effects?" she asked, looking the Doctor in the face.

"I don't know. Maybe. I'll look into it tomorrow," the Doctor replied absentmindedly, staring at the kitchen, waiting for their meals, as if he had somehow betrayed or disappointed Clara, like a child scared and in trouble.

Finally, the waitress arrived, carrying the long awaited food. Clara took a gracious swig of the wine, only to gag and force it to flow back into the

glass

.

"Oh my god, that's foul!" she said, examining the glass. As she went to beckon for the waitress, the Doctor shushed her and tried the wine gingerly, like it was laced with arsenic.

"I was afraid of this," he said gravely.

"What, the wine being bad?" asked Clara in response, confused and bewildered.

"No, the tastes. You liked wine; I hated it. Now we've swapped tastes, as well as bodies," he explained, focusing on the tumbler. Resignedly, the pair swapped plates.

As they returned to the TARDIS, a shrill tinkling came from Clara's pocket. Pulling out her phone, she checked the screen.

"It's Angie. Hang on," she told the Doctor, walking from him. The Doctor went up to the blue box and unlocked it. He was about to go in when Clara ran up to him.

"Do you Latham Park in Chiswick?" she asked, panting for breath.

"Of course I do," he replied, unsure as to the motive.

"23rd August2013," she said, loudly and clearly. Following the Doctor's confused look, she explained:

"Angie called and said that we should check it out. Interested?" she explained to the confused Doctor.

"You bet. Come on, then. Time is of the essence," he said jokingly.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Lark in the Park.

New chapter! Sorry for the delay, but I have technically finished the writing, but I will fill in any chapters until I decide to finish it - I have done a final chapter and an epilogue. Please remember to review, follow and favourite if you like :)

The TARDIS wheezed and groaned as it arrived in Latham Park. It landed amongst the tall trees in one section, disguising it well. Clara emerged from the doors first, followed by the Doctor.

"I think that this is it," Clara said, looking around at the environment. "Come on, let's go find the kids,". The Doctor stared at Clara in annoyance.

"Wearing the bow tie does not put you in charge!" He said indignantly.

"I thought I was the boss?" Clara replied playfully. The Doctor started a sentence in complaint, but stopped, only managing a frustrated mutter.

The pair wandered around the park until they reached the play area. Artie was running around, jumping over the steps whilst Angie was sat on the swings, texting on her phone. Clara could now easily vault over the fence, but the Doctor had to slowly open the gate and walk through.

"About time!" Angie shouted the moment she saw Clara. Artie stopped running around, accidentally colliding with the Doctor, knocking him to his feet.

"What seems to be the problem, then?" asked Clara, in lieu of the Doctor's breathlessness.

"Follow us," Angie said, getting up off of the swing.

As the group walked across the park, the Doctor was walking with a slight limb due to the bruising on his leg. They finally reached a tree that was perfectly average, save for the padlocked bike chain around it.

"It's so we could find it again, you see?" Artie explained. Clara examined the tree, looking up, and down, and up again.

"So what's wrong with it?" She asked, completely confused.

"It grew to this size in 3 days. It was tiny one day, about our height the next and this height today," Artie said, beaming with excitement.

The Doctor whipped out his sonic and pressed the button, listening closely to the buzzing emitting from it.

"It's a Jaknoid, an alien plant. It locates a food source, locks on and grows to immense size. I have just the thing in the TARDIS..." he said, trailing off at the end as he ran back across the park.

"Doctor!" exclaimed Clara, chasing after him. Turning in mid-run, she beckoned for the children to follow her. Angie sighed in exasperation and began to run, already bored with the days events. Suddenly, her phone toppled out of her pocket, dropping to the ground below. As she squatted to pick it up, a long, flexible piece of wood eerily similar to a branch wrapped around her and pulled her in.

When Clara finally caught up with the Doctor, he was rummaging around in a cabinet in the console room.

"Weevil spray, WOTAN part, WWII map, AHA! Weed killer: Krynoid Strength!" he shouted in

victory, holding up a small blue crystal. "Throw that onto the top of the tree and it'll drop dead in less than 5 seconds!".

The Doctor and Clara had returned to the Jaknoid, only to find Artie searching desperately.

"What've you lost?" Clara asked kindly.

"Angie!" he screamed back, on the verge of tears.

"Maybe she just went for a walk," the Doctor suggested to the child.

"Her phone's on the ground! She wouldn't have left it behind!" he said back, distraught now.

"Doctor, is it me or is the tree a little...bigger now?" Clara asked, staring at the tree carefully. The Doctor's face grew dark as he put two and two together.

"Artie!" he shouted. "Get back from there!". The boy looked back at him and turned to face the tree. Two long tendrils reached out and plucked up Artie, pulling him close to the tree. The middle section split to show Angie strapped in to the hollow innards of the tree.

As Artie was pulled in, it sealed around him and grew to incredible heights, only a little shorter than the trees around it. "The tree! I can just climb up it!" shouted the Doctor, running towards the tree and it's lowest branch. He leapt up and tried to grasp the branch, but his fingers just missed it and he fell to the ground in a heap.

"I'm too small!" he murmured in realisation. "Clara, I am so sorry, but you'll have to do it," he said to his companion.

"I've not really got a head for heights..." she protested ad he handed her the crystal.

"Well it's a good thing I do then. Or did.." he replied. "Come on, Clara. There isn't much time left!" Clara brace herself and leapt at the branch.

Her chest made contact, which allowed her to pull herself up and balance carefully on the branch. As she looked up, the branches seemed to wobble before her...

"You can do it, Clara!" a voice came from what seemed to be a million miles below. Quaking, she jumped up and climbed up the tree as quickly as she could.

Finally, she reached the top and grabbed the crystal. Her hands were sweaty from the exercise, which caused it to slip. It fell, pirouetting in midair. She dropped down, grabbing a branch in one hand and the crystal in the other.

Her arm muscles screamed at her, but she held on and pulled herself up. Aiming the crystal, she threw it. Miraculously, it landed on top of the Jaknoid, making it shrink rapidly.

As it reached the ground, it deformed itself around Artie and Angie, freeing them. Soon, all that was left was a small sapling again.

By the time Clara had abseiled down the tree, the kids had gone and gotten an ice cream, courtesy of the Doctor. He was examining the sapling, a shovel in his left hand.

"What are you going to do with it, Doctor?" Artie asked, licking his ice cream.

"Take it to Jaknossin, let it grow naturally, I suppose," the Doctor replied. As he went to dig it up shovel poised in his right arm, a football soared through the air and crushed the sapling into a pile of green goo.

"Then again," the Doctor muttered in defeat...

As the duo waved the kids off home, the Doctor had a pleased look on his face.

"What?" Clara asked, curious as to his joy.

"Well, I think it went pretty well, all things considered," he said smugly. Clara took offence to this; but for once, rather than resort to sarcasm, she had a more powerful weapon.

"You think you're so clever, don't you?" she asked. The Doctor nodded happily in reply.

"Good luck in two weeks," she finished, walking into the TARDIS. The Doctor's face crumbled as he worked out her reference.

"CLARA!"


End file.
